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I’ve never been in love. Valentine’s Day means nothing to me. It’s cute to watch my friends make gifts and plans with their significant others but it doesn’t tug my heart strings. Why would it? It’s their relationship not mine. And yet… for some, when Valentine’s comes around its hours of torture. Is it just because of memories of being loved and in love? I don’t think so.
My friend told me this morning, ‘I don’t want to be alone for a second today.’ We ate egg sandwiches in Meanwood Park, watching kids play football. ‘I’m sorry but I am gonna keep talking about him.’ That’s understandable, I pondered, but she did seem completely over him a couple months ago – this arbitrary day is clearly triggering this. ‘Mind you, I don’t even remember what we did last Valentine’s.’
This interaction made me question why we feel particularly single and lonely on the 14th of February. It’s not just that people miss what that day meant to them in the past, it's that they feel like they should.
On the phone to my sister in Madrid, she tells me about a colleague who laid out her anti-Valentine diatribe. This stranger across the sea made some based points: there is no need for her and her husband to celebrate their love on a prescribed day to conform to others expectations and fuel the commercialisation of love when they have their own special memories and date nights they want to mark. Even people in relationships seem to be made to feel bad on Valentine’s Day.
Are you sad because there isn’t someone buying you a rose or are you sad because you feel like there should be someone buying you a rose? Celebrate love wherever you stumble upon it, in everyday life, platonic or romantic, even on Valentine’s Day if you fancy. Celebrate love because it’s the worthiest cause of celebration there is. Don’t feel down because you feel like you should, whether you are single or taken. So happy Valentine’s or Galentine’s or happy Friday! Whatever floats your boat.
Words by Sophia Sandelson, she/her
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